Is it a great time to be a woman?

I have been frequently confronted with this question during my years of professional service. The sensitivity of this topic has lead to heated skirmishes with many females (friends, colleagues) I encountered. Recently I went through a debate on this topic. The discussion enlightened many aspects that we tend to dismiss or accept due to the intense emotions associated with the idea. Let me give an answer to the question.

Question: Is it a great time to be a woman?
Answer: Yes for sure.

Of course the answer only reflects my stand on the issue and is not intended to be generalized. I will try to describe why I believe so and the cons of not realizing that the world has indeed changed for today's women.

Why is it a great time to be woman?

We have been debating on women rights and their exploitation since childhood. However, things have changed dramatically and the motion that women are still being exploited no more holds true when we talk about careers and economic independence. Agreed that developing nations are still way behind in terms of imparting women education and enabling women empowerment, but this is largely prevalent in the rural or economically backward communities, where poverty and ignorance are major contributors. Let us reduce our scope to "women in urban India" (I term this WUI)

There is no second thought to the fact that WUI have all the opportunities that men have. I am aware that statistics say otherwise. Only 3% of global CEO's are females. Is it reasonable to assume that 97% of the lot was deprived due to sexual discrimination? Even if we believe so the point I am trying to make is that the attitude of society has changed and now it is the onus of women to make inroads. The law of nature is 'survival of the fittest'; whoever performs shall rule. [This raises another issue about parenting and social obligations, that make women 'not so fit' for survival in the corporate arena. I will talk about this later] Nobody is going to pamper women and make them climb the ladder. I doubt that still there are multiple instances in which deserving women are not promoted. The unfortunate story is that women still crib about inequality citing their traditional roles in our society. They are definitely better off than their mothers. We have most of the legislation in place to enable women empowerment (exception: abortion). We have 'reserved' places for women at global B-schools. We have tax benefits for women. The stage is set and they are welcome aboard. However, the sad part is that the societal transformation has given birth to a new pedigree of WUI characterized by a combination of idealism and feminism. Women in this pedigree have good as well as bad attributes. Let us talk about the good part first. They are:

a. Goal-oriented b. Display commendable fighting spirit c. More deserving than their male counterparts d. Independent

All these attributes make them unflinching warriors to conquer the male dominated world. No second thoughts. The dangers are associated with their bad attributes. They are:

a. Hypersensitive to women issues b. Indifferent to traditional roles

It is extremely important to understand these issues and their consequences to avoid friction and chaos. India has a rich cultural heritage bolstered by institutions such as marriage and 'the family'. In order to hold together our society both sexes should understand the need to change attitudes without compromising on aspects that endanger 'the family'. Men should stop being egoistic and women should come out of the "why only me?" attitude. We don't want to surpass the western world with a record number of divorces or abortions. Since the blog focuses on women, I will stick to the scope and describe the attitude that the new pedigree WUI have and need to change for the betterment of the society. Yes, we are digressing from the main topic. For now let us accept the fact that it IS a great time to be a WUI. Let us shift the focus to the question: What are the impacts of this social change? Will this change bring cheers all around and contribute to the economy or will it bring chaos and hinder our progress?


Hypersensitivity to women issues:

This is all about hype and hoopla. The new pedigree WUI feel that they are always targeted by their male counterparts. They always feel strangled and want to break free from the shackles. It is just a mindset. The shackles are imaginary and inherited from their mothers. In pursuit of freedom they lose sight of the gamut of opportunities that have been opened up. Most of the lost opportunities are blamed on sex discrimination. The primary motive is to be better than the opposite sex rather than being the best of all. All arguments boil down to the same question: Why not me? ( or why me? )

Let us take an example:

Mr X and Mrs Y are a working couple in a metro. It is imperative that the household chores have to be divided between the couple. Mr X is good at buying grocery from the market and Mrs Y is good at preparing food. Hence, logically, the act of making food is a combined effort of Mr X and Mrs Y. Also both these acts are equally important in producing the final result.

Unfortunately, there is a high probability that our new pedigree WUI will raise questions about her role. The question will be: "Why do I have to prepare food for you?" In asking this question, Mrs Y has made a handful of wrong assumptions. She has assigned a weightage to the tasks and based on the weightage she has concluded that preparing food is a menial task. Also Mrs Y has ignored the fact that it is more important to execute a task in the best possible way rather than complain about "why me?"


Indifference to traditional roles:

The new pedigree WUI do not want to be like their mothers. They want to be more independent, both financially and emotionally. They want to pursue higher education. They want to advance their career and not remain a mere house manager. They want the freedom to voice their opinions and want their voices to be heard. All this is right until it is overdone. Unfortunately, our new pedigree WUI crib about their social obligations of child rearing. I have no question in accepting that such traditional social obligations have crippled women in pursuing their desired careers and sometimes have left them short of options. Either they have to abandon their careers or take a break, which hurts their growth within the organization. Is there a solution to this problem? No. We have to accept the limitation and move on. Today most of the organizations provide paid maternity leaves and work from home options. Then why crib about this? They need to introspect. What would have been the results if their mothers thought in the same way?

Also, are WUI simply going to measure their progress in society by financial comparisons? The answer depends on the way an individual woman understands her role in society. An important consideration here must be self-fulfilment. Keeping a family together, raising children as they should be raised, creating responsible citizens: these require values and skills common to all humanity, that transcend rich and poor countries and that should transcend the sexes. Men need to learn this lesson. Women know it innately but my fear is that in the battle for workplace equity they could lose sight of some of the defining aspects of womanhood.


Conclusion:

It is definitely great to be a woman, in case of India, a WUI. But it is equally important to understand that our society is now ready to embrace this new social change and it is the choice of women to determine how best they can help in this transition without hurting our society.

Ron.
Disclaimer