I have been frequently confronted with this question during my years of professional service. The sensitivity of this topic has lead to heated skirmishes with many females (friends, colleagues) I encountered. Recently I went through a debate on this topic. The discussion enlightened many aspects that we tend to dismiss or accept due to the intense emotions associated with the idea. Let me give an answer to the question.
Question: Is it a great time to be a woman?
Answer: Yes for sure.
Of course the answer only reflects my stand on the issue and is not intended to be generalized. I will try to describe why I believe so and the cons of not realizing that the world has indeed changed for today's women.
Why is it a great time to be woman?
We have been debating on women rights and their exploitation since childhood. However, things have changed dramatically and the motion that women are still being exploited no more holds true when we talk about careers and economic independence. Agreed that developing nations are still way behind in terms of imparting women education and enabling women empowerment, but this is largely prevalent in the rural or economically backward communities, where poverty and ignorance are major contributors. Let us reduce our scope to "women in urban India" (I term this WUI)
There is no second thought to the fact that WUI have all the opportunities that men have. I am aware that statistics say otherwise. Only 3% of global CEO's are females. Is it reasonable to assume that 97% of the lot was deprived due to sexual discrimination? Even if we believe so the point I am trying to make is that the attitude of society has changed and now it is the onus of women to make inroads. The law of nature is 'survival of the fittest'; whoever performs shall rule. [This raises another issue about parenting and social obligations, that make women 'not so fit' for survival in the corporate arena. I will talk about this later] Nobody is going to pamper women and make them climb the ladder. I doubt that still there are multiple instances in which deserving women are not promoted. The unfortunate story is that women still crib about inequality citing their traditional roles in our society. They are definitely better off than their mothers. We have most of the legislation in place to enable women empowerment (exception: abortion). We have 'reserved' places for women at global B-schools. We have tax benefits for women. The stage is set and they are welcome aboard. However, the sad part is that the societal transformation has given birth to a new pedigree of WUI characterized by a combination of idealism and feminism. Women in this pedigree have good as well as bad attributes. Let us talk about the good part first. They are:
a. Goal-oriented b. Display commendable fighting spirit c. More deserving than their male counterparts d. Independent
All these attributes make them unflinching warriors to conquer the male dominated world. No second thoughts. The dangers are associated with their bad attributes. They are:
a. Hypersensitive to women issues b. Indifferent to traditional roles
It is extremely important to understand these issues and their consequences to avoid friction and chaos. India has a rich cultural heritage bolstered by institutions such as marriage and 'the family'. In order to hold together our society both sexes should understand the need to change attitudes without compromising on aspects that endanger 'the family'. Men should stop being egoistic and women should come out of the "why only me?" attitude. We don't want to surpass the western world with a record number of divorces or abortions. Since the blog focuses on women, I will stick to the scope and describe the attitude that the new pedigree WUI have and need to change for the betterment of the society. Yes, we are digressing from the main topic. For now let us accept the fact that it IS a great time to be a WUI. Let us shift the focus to the question: What are the impacts of this social change? Will this change bring cheers all around and contribute to the economy or will it bring chaos and hinder our progress?
Hypersensitivity to women issues:
This is all about hype and hoopla. The new pedigree WUI feel that they are always targeted by their male counterparts. They always feel strangled and want to break free from the shackles. It is just a mindset. The shackles are imaginary and inherited from their mothers. In pursuit of freedom they lose sight of the gamut of opportunities that have been opened up. Most of the lost opportunities are blamed on sex discrimination. The primary motive is to be better than the opposite sex rather than being the best of all. All arguments boil down to the same question: Why not me? ( or why me? )
Let us take an example:
Mr X and Mrs Y are a working couple in a metro. It is imperative that the household chores have to be divided between the couple. Mr X is good at buying grocery from the market and Mrs Y is good at preparing food. Hence, logically, the act of making food is a combined effort of Mr X and Mrs Y. Also both these acts are equally important in producing the final result.
Unfortunately, there is a high probability that our new pedigree WUI will raise questions about her role. The question will be: "Why do I have to prepare food for you?" In asking this question, Mrs Y has made a handful of wrong assumptions. She has assigned a weightage to the tasks and based on the weightage she has concluded that preparing food is a menial task. Also Mrs Y has ignored the fact that it is more important to execute a task in the best possible way rather than complain about "why me?"
Indifference to traditional roles:
The new pedigree WUI do not want to be like their mothers. They want to be more independent, both financially and emotionally. They want to pursue higher education. They want to advance their career and not remain a mere house manager. They want the freedom to voice their opinions and want their voices to be heard. All this is right until it is overdone. Unfortunately, our new pedigree WUI crib about their social obligations of child rearing. I have no question in accepting that such traditional social obligations have crippled women in pursuing their desired careers and sometimes have left them short of options. Either they have to abandon their careers or take a break, which hurts their growth within the organization. Is there a solution to this problem? No. We have to accept the limitation and move on. Today most of the organizations provide paid maternity leaves and work from home options. Then why crib about this? They need to introspect. What would have been the results if their mothers thought in the same way?
Also, are WUI simply going to measure their progress in society by financial comparisons? The answer depends on the way an individual woman understands her role in society. An important consideration here must be self-fulfilment. Keeping a family together, raising children as they should be raised, creating responsible citizens: these require values and skills common to all humanity, that transcend rich and poor countries and that should transcend the sexes. Men need to learn this lesson. Women know it innately but my fear is that in the battle for workplace equity they could lose sight of some of the defining aspects of womanhood.
Conclusion:
It is definitely great to be a woman, in case of India, a WUI. But it is equally important to understand that our society is now ready to embrace this new social change and it is the choice of women to determine how best they can help in this transition without hurting our society.
Ron.
Disclaimer
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I don't think it's great to be born as a woman atleast in a country like India...It's a perennial torture cos at every stage u r expected to listen, obey, answer with precision and responsibility, own up to things, refrain from mistakes.......We are still not allowed freedom over our bodies...The day I am allowed condemn marriages where women have had no say no matter how 'successful' they turn out out to be owing majorly to the innumerable compromises made by the womenfolk , the time when I would be allowed to bear a child without having to worry if my partner would accept it and more if the society would let it live without a 'father', and the age where we are considered women, and not 'misbegotten men'whose actions wont be questioned on the balance of virtues and morality.....Then is when I would say, I am a woman, n I feel good about it........
I really like the way your note ends, Ron. It is up to the women to decide now, and I would add, for them to have some more trust in men. At any point in time, there are people better off and there are people in hell holes! All we can do is be thankful and try to do the best we can, men or women. I totally agree with you that the new generation of women (WUI as you abbreviated it) are well positioned in this transition. They have more choices than the previous generations. Please note that not all women who belong to the so called “past generation/s” are cribbing about the situation they are in or the lack of choices they have. We are living in a global environment now and things are bound to change; better or worse, only time will tell. And now, more and more men are joining the crusade to empower women. And this is only the beginning. By doing this are we disturbing the natural order of things? NO! But we are definitely giving room for it and the choice is not ours. It will be wrong on my part to say that women can now see light at the end of the tunnel because the tunnel itself is not dark anymore. The way I see it, they have a choice now either to stay in the tunnel or get out of it. And there is no way of saying which is better because honestly, it comes down to personal choice. There is nothing one can do about pessimists. It is up to the Indian women to now look at the situation as a glass that is half full or half empty. Choices are complicated and they will always be. Coming to the issues of condemning marriages and freedom over their bodies, it is incorrect to blame only men for it. It is the society comprised of men and WOMEN, your parents and mine, who belong to a different school of thought, who MAY have problems with it. And these issues are almost non-existent in urban India now and beyond the scope of what your blog is trying to address… Please correct me if I am wrong.
@Nikkkk:
I concur with you. 'Trust in men' is a wonderful point that you have brought up w.r.t. WUI. The only reason I see for such distrust creeping up is, as I have stressed, the lack of acceptance that the society has indeed changed. I see a serious problem with this, and that is why I have touched upon the dreadful impacts of bearing such a psyche. It is more about changing the thought process by not being a pessimist. You are right, it is a matter of their personal choice to stay in the dark tunnel and be a zealot, cribbing about the implausible, or to see the light and empower themselves with the framework that is already in place. That is why I said, it is the choice of WUI to determine how best they can align themselves into the transition process. We all know that changes are always resisted; here we are talking about a change in the entire society ! Such a mass change is only possible if attitudes are right, for both men and women. Men in urban India have started accepting the change, it is the turn of WUI to have the right attitude and be a catalyst in the reaction.
Also, such a transformation should not endanger the existing social system of 'the family', one of the strongest pillars of our culture. Achieving women empowerment by dismantling our social system, which we often brag about, will be a foolish act. Unfortunately, WUI, in their race to be independent, make a mistake in understanding their role in the society when they talk about condemning marriage and freedom over bodies. Is it true that we will be independent by shunning marriages and rearing a fatherless/motherless child? May be, because it looks like the easiest way to 'feel' independent.
For me, this would be to run away from my role, as a male, in our society. I never knew that independence was so narrowly defined. Why do westerners care about their divorce rates? Because they have realized the importance of raising and holding together a family, something which we have mastered over centuries.
As a developing nation, we definitely need the power of women to help thrust our economy ; at the same time, we do not want to repeat the mistakes of the western world. It is time to get smarter WUI in our workforce who are independent in the right sense, definitely not zealots.
Post a Comment