Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Three incidents that kept me thinking

This is going to be different, not the usual ‘lessons learnt’ and ‘best practices’ stuff. There are three incidents, unexpected and trivial yet thought-provoking, that have kept me wondering. I am always curious to uncover the reasoning behind strange things in life. For e.g. I often wonder why does the soil smell like it does when rains arrive for the first time, or, what causes the release of mucous and sweat when people eat spicy food, or even the weirdest curiosity as in why do people(read guys) always spit after they urinate in a loo? Most of these questions can be answered with the help of science. However, today I am going to write about the human aspect, which is hardly understood by people. Although I have no clear answers to these incidents they have surely touched my heart.

Is this me?


I guess this happened back in 2007. I used to commute by our company shuttle. At times, I used to take the late morning shuttle that plied during peak traffic hours. It is hard to define ‘peak traffic hours’ when you are in Bangalore, especially, when you are talking about the old Airport road. You have to pause two, sometimes three, times before you are allowed to cross a signal. Hence, on a safer side, you need to start 30 minutes in advance to compensate for the loss of time. This implies that in order to catch a shuttle scheduled to reach your stop at 11:30 you should think of at least a +/- 10 minutes of tolerance. Sometimes you can see your shuttle on the other side of the road, approximately 100 feet far, but you have absolutely no chance to walk across your side of the road before the shuttle leaves your stop! Helpless! Eh! This is the beauty of Bangalore.

It was a usual day. I reached my stop at 11: 25, which means I reached ‘just in time’. I had 5 minutes (if I go by shuttle timetable) to 15 minutes (if I add a tolerance) at my disposal. Spending time was never an issue as the hustle and bustle kept me engaged. Now, then…I saw an old woman, 70s something, standing about 20 feet apart. I assume she came from a lower-middle class family. Clad in a grayish saree (south Indian style), wearing a pair of glasses and holding a stick she appeared to me as a perfect grandmother. She took a couple of little steps to cross the road and suddenly retreated when a bike zoomed past her. I realized that she was blind. Surprisingly, she was alone! That was sad. Neither could she be nimble enough to cross the road nor could she see! Subconsciously I started cursing her near-ones for letting her out alone. How can people be so indifferent? She pleaded a passer-by in Kannada to help her cross the road. He walked away as if he didn’t listen or could not understand, maybe he didn’t or maybe he did and simply didn’t want to take the extra pain. I looked at my watch. It showed 11:35. The shuttle could arrive any moment and once I crossed the road there was no guarantee that I could cross it once again to catch the shuttle. Something pushed me to help her. I held her left hand and wrapped my arm around to support her. I had to bend a little due to her short stature. Her hand felt just like that of my Nani (maternal grandmother); small, soft with prominent veins. I guided her to the other side. There were no words exchanged, no thank you, no welcome. I crossed the road and came back to my stand. The shuttle arrived 5 minutes later, I got inside, thought about my Nani and the day continued as normal.

Sounds like a typical love-at-first-sight Bollywood scene, only that most of the time the protagonist is our heroine and our hero is watching her help the needy. I am not unique. Most of us would have done the same. However, there was something special about this episode. It made me think: Was this me? Do I really care about the needy? Did I help her only because I visualized my Nani in her? Would I do that if I had bigger things at stake? I don’t have any answers. Yet, this was one of the most satisfying incidents in my life.

Is this him?

This incident happened last monsoon. Bangalore’s weather is notorious to pour rains between 5 to 7 pm in the evening. I was waiting for the public transport bus outside the company campus. There was a light drizzle, quite enough to soak me up within few minutes. Traffic was moving at a snail’s pace. Buses were chock-a-block. The chances of getting a bus, with at least some space to be able to stand, were feeble. Even if I got one I was sure to get drenched by that time. This was not a major problem for me. Drizzles are always welcome, especially when I am leaving office. I was mentally prepared for the shower.

A car stopped right in front of me. The window opened and I saw the driver doing some gestures. I could not figure out what was he trying to convey. I went closer and realized that he was one of my ex-colleagues. He was asking me to get in his car. I got in. My apartment was half a kilometer away from his place, only that he had to take a sideway to drop me. I insisted that he should drop me at the main street to avoid the pain of taking a sideway just for my sake. He told me “Dude, it is raining. It doesn’t matter. I will drop you right in front of your apartment”. And he did.

Doesn’t sound special, right? It was a special episode for me. I never talked with this guy in office. He was a bit weird with his reasoning abilities and most of the time made a mockery of himself. I always thought he was a foolish character. I was always biased against him. I even mocked about him on his back with my colleagues, who apparently had a similar opinion about him. The point is, he was strange and I was uncomfortable being with him. This incident was a shocker. I felt so bad. Sometimes we create impressions about people even without dealing with them or even before trying to understand them. I am not justifying whether this guy was good or bad. He might have changed for better over a period of time. But why did I judge a person based on someone else’s experiences? Why was I so much biased against him? Shouldn’t a person be given a chance to change himself/herself? Does professional expertise mean everything in life and is it fair to shun someone just because he/she is not as intellectual as you would want him/her to be? I have partial answers to some of these questions. Indeed, this was one of the most embarrassing incidents in my life.

Who is she?

Strangers come and go out of our life. But some of them, knowingly or unknowingly, leave long-lasting impressions. Last Friday was special. It was 9 pm. I left office after a refreshing work-out at the gym. I took the usual public transport bus to head home. For a change, the driver opened up the door (first door) at his end. This end is generally occupied by ladies, though it is not a rule. I was surrounded by 4-5 gals with enough room to move around. Unintentionally, I was blocking the side-view mirror every now and then and got instructions from the driver to move aside a couple of times. Everything else was usual.

Suddenly I heard a sound from behind “Excuse me!” The sound was feminine. I wondered whether I did something wrong again. I turned back and saw a pretty gal with a sweet smile coming towards me. Pointing her finger towards my footwear she asked “Can you please tell me from which store did you buy these?” Eh! I was in a state of shock. Everyone around was looking on to our conversation. How can a stranger ask me about my personal stuff? To be more precise, “How can a gal, whom I don’t know, ask me such a question in public?” I answered plainly “The new Bata store near Reliance Fresh”. “Where?”, she asked again. Again, I gave a plain answer. She thanked me and started moving back before giving her last comment “These look really smart and cool!”. I understand that the compliment was made solely for the footwear, sigh! The best part was her smile that seemed to have come straight from her heart. I smiled back and thanked her for her compliments. She alighted at the next stop. I got down a couple of stops later and walked down home feeling much happier than before. She made my day!

Strangers are unbiased, hence, everyone likes compliments if they come from strangers and even more if they come from opposite sex strangers. I am no exception. It made me feel good. Did she think twice before approaching me? Does it mean that there existed a sense of mutual trust? Is it okay to compliment a stranger if you really love the stuff he/she is wearing? What would be the reaction of a gal if a guy did the same? Has our society become open enough to accept such behaviors? Maybe I am thinking too far. Indeed, this was one of the most shocking(pleasantly) incidents in my life.

9 comments:

Angel In Disguise said...

haha nice one.. I'm not sure if I would've done the same, although i do feel like asking but am scared of the reaction.

Ronak said...

@Angel In Disguise: Very true, most of us would be hesitant. I really liked the person's attitude :) There is no harm in expressing yourself!

Rakesh said...

Though I enjoyed reading the last incident, I liked reading the first.
Keep up the good work, here I am talking about the first incident.
Altogether a nice read.

Unknown said...

nice one ronak..
For First incident : i want to say
that u did because you wanted to prove yr self that u still have feelings to do something for country or needed persons.

Second incident : You are correct that why we make decision based on others experiences but i want to add something.Dont change yr decision from one incident.

Third incident: i just want to say
that why only on stuff why not on looks or whatever his/her beauty.
I always wanted to appreciate person for his/her best things but feel how that girl/boy feel.I dont know what actually stops me.

Gaurav said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gaurav said...

I really surprised but very happy for the first incident.I know you for long but never thought that you can do this also.Well done !!!

Unknown said...

A good read Ronak... didnt know this side of yours...if this all is ture...pleasant and human :)

Sugandha

Ronak said...

Suggi: I DON'T fake in my blogs :)

Smile said...

Pretty much enjoyed readin all ur blogs and yeah I gotta comment on the 3 incidents of urs.

Is this me?
Great job :)and this reminded me of an incident which i ve documented in a mail a year back( wil forward de mail tomo :) ).

Is this him?
Duality of human nature is always seen. I believe there's always a positive and a negative side in a person .No one is perfect and theres a mean streak within everyone and there was no harm in judging your ideas and opinions on him. Else ,lifes no fun !!


Who is she?
I would have surely done the same if the person was of the same sex. But approaching a stranger of a different sex these days , infact totally scares me. Lot many questions would pop-up on my mind such as wil he answer my question , wat if his attitude sucks , wat if he thinks i am hitting on him and mainly what would de ppl around me think. Lucky she , you responding in a good manner.Not all are the same , so i would rather not take a chance to create a disaster ya mess up with a total stranger:)Decoding wat a STRANGER thinks is tough rite!!